A Speccy Man Has A Breakdown - day 88

How to say no

Read online (with audio).

<< Previously

Weird thing from psychiatric hospital. In my first week I attended a session run by a psychologist. She posed a question that really exercised the woman sitting beside me:

How to Say No?

We were invited to talk it over in pairs. As it happens, in a former life I had taught people exactly this topic in classes I ran for The School of Life.

But I didn’t say that because if I was so clever why was I in psychiatric hospital?

Afterwards, in my room, I drew the whole conversation from memory.


Psychologist: How do you say no to someone who asks you to do some work? Woman beside JPF: And what if it's your mother? JPF: Have you thought about saying, 'Am I allowed to say no?' Woman: I don't think that would work in this case. JPF: Why don't we try it? Woman, pretending to be her mother: Please get me a cup of tea... JPF: Er, no. Woman, still pretending: But I'm your mother! JPF: Am I allowed to say no? Woman, still pretending: After all the things I've done for you! JPF: No, sorry Time passes. Woman: Wow. These are such useful tools. You should be running this session.


I have no idea if this woman learned to say no to her mother. I don’t remember ever seeing her again.

Altogether I drew about 300 pages of pictures in hospital and afterwards. I was trying to make sense of what was happening to me.

These particular drawings do not appear in my book. Consider for a moment how brilliant the book must be if I left these ones out, my goodness.

The first 90 printed books land on my doorstep this week. Then I’ll pop them in the post to many of the splendid, charming and good-looking people who read these emails. Additional copies remain available for purchase.

If haven’t purchased already and don’t want to – well, you obviously know already How to Say No. Congratulations.

Thanks for being here. Your attention is precious.

-

👉 If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out to a crisis line in your country. In the UK, Samaritans are available any time on 116 123.

-

Did someone forward this to you?
Sign up here to receive the series.

First published: 01 June 2026
Last updated: 01 June 2026