No, that's not really available anymore

In which you find me in a very different mood

To reply, please jp at this domain name.

Transcript

Well, today I’m feeling mightily pissed off. And I thought I’d record something about that, because why not? Why make it all one mood, if that is what I’ve been doing?  

I’m pissed off because, excuse my language, I haven’t been paid for something that I finished nearly five months ago.

And… um, it was quite a large piece of work, so it’s affected my cash flow.  I’ve missed payments, I’ve incurred penalties, I’m paying higher charges on things.

And it’s not my fault, and I’m feeling really, really powerless as a self-employed person, and this is what happens again and again. And it’s… a kind of work that I do really well, and it’s making me, not for the first time, think, okay, is that a line of work I have to stop doing? In which case, what next?  

And it’s exhausting. Years and years of thinking, This is a line of work that can work for me, and then, no, some technology or some other glitch pops up and says, no, that’s not really available anymore.

Yeah.  

And I’m also really conscious that financial worries led to my depression, or contributed to my depression. And I am feeling pretty depressed at the moment. Pissed off and depressed.  

So there we are, that’s another thing that I’m putting on record. I’m going to release this podcast, probably not tell anyone about it because I’m so useless at that, but it’s out there.

Someone might find it.  You might get this record of me being pissed off and depressed. Even though, by the time you hear it, I might have cheered up.

Thanks for listening. 

POSTSCRIPT. I’ve been here before. In 2012 the Sunday Times ended my contract and I thought it was a disaster.