My friend J. has cancer.
We were at school together: primary school, then secondary school. We became good friends towards the end, when we both studied Eng. Lit. before going to university.
She told me about her diagnosis late last year. A short time later, J. messaged me on Whatsapp:
I don’t think I am going to manage Christmas cards this year and have also lost my address book so can I take this opportunity to wish you and family a very happy Christmas?
Also, a funny thing – I have been thinking quite a lot about how to try to process things in a positive way and not be oppressed by anxiety, and came across Byron Katie of whom I hadn’t heard; googled her and almost the first thing that came up was a Guardian article by none other than you!
Lots of love xxx
I replied that I was delighted, because I think Byron Katie is terrific.
I said that I’d interviewed Katie alongside her husband, Stephen Mitchell, who co-writes her books. He’s terrific too, I added: a brilliant, award-winning poet and translator.
I thought J., by now herself a published poet, might like to know that.
I said I’d taken care to record the interview on Zoom, and you can still watch it on YouTube. I gave the link (see below), and evidently J. clicked on the link, because she soon replied:
Great interview! You did it brilliantly. Aren’t they endearing?
She said she found Katie’s ideas helpful:
Despite my always quite strong British scepticism, I do find this fascinating and it gives me a lot of hope. Profound changes in the way we apprehend the world and our lives are possible and potentially wonderful.
I felt compelled to follow up, saying that I had shared J.’s scepticism initially:
I was just totally won over by the simplicity of the four-part work:
1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
3. How do you react when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be without the thought?I mean, it’s not forcing anything on you.
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It’s been a while since that exchange, in which time J. has been through a lot. And the chemotherapy hasn’t been successful.
I wish J. wasn’t unwell. I hope she’s still able to see possibility in changes to the way we see the world.
If you can spare a moment – just one moment, no longer than it takes to breathe in and out again – please pray for J.
Or if “pray” isn’t a word you use, please send her your good wishes.
Thank you.
Update Jan 2025: J. has been taking something that helped. She is talking about maybe even going back to work some time.
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For what it’s worth, here’s the YouTube video recording of my interview with Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell, for the story that later ran in the Guardian: