My friend J. went to the same primary school as me, then secondary school. We became good friends towards the end, when we both studied Eng. Lit. before going to university.
Just over a year ago, she told me about her cancer diagnosis. And a short time later, J. messaged me on Whatsapp:
I don’t think I am going to manage Christmas cards this year and have also lost my address book so can I take this opportunity to wish you and family a very happy Christmas?
Also, a funny thing – I have been thinking quite a lot about how to try to process things in a positive way and not be oppressed by anxiety, and came across Byron Katie of whom I hadn’t heard; googled her and almost the first thing that came up was a Guardian article by none other than you!
Lots of love xxx
I replied that I was delighted, because I think Byron Katie is terrific.
For anyone who doesn’t know her, Byron Katie developed “The Work” – a simple practice for examining the thoughts that cause us suffering. And yes, I’d interviewed her for the Guardian. I replied straight away:
“I was just totally won over by the simplicity of the four-part work:
1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
3. How do you react when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be without the thought?
I mean, it’s not forcing anything on you.”
I’d interviewed Katie alongside her husband, Stephen Mitchell, who co-writes her books. He’s terrific too, I added: a brilliant, award-winning poet and translator. I thought J., by now herself a published poet, might like to know that.
And I’d taken care to record the interview on Zoom, so I sent her the YouTube link. She soon replied:
Great interview! You did it brilliantly. Aren’t they endearing? Despite my always quite strong British scepticism, I do find this fascinating and it gives me a lot of hope. Profound changes in the way we apprehend the world and our lives are possible and potentially wonderful.
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It’s been a while since that exchange, and J. has been through a lot. The chemotherapy hasn’t been successful.
I wish J. wasn’t unwell. I hope she’s still able to see possibility in changes to the way we see the world.
If you can spare a moment – just one moment, no longer than it takes to breathe in and out again – please pray for J.
Or if “pray” isn’t a word you use, please send her your good wishes.
Thank you.
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Watch my interview with Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell on YouTube