How To Tame Your Inner Critic

A nine-day course, delivered by email and audio.

Most of us carry a critical voice in our head that talks us out of things. Not obviously, and not always – but often enough to shape what we try, what we finish, and what we never begin. This course is about noticing that voice, working out which bits of what it says are true, and answering back.

It takes about fifteen minutes a day, for nine days. It arrives that way on purpose – the thinking needs time to settle between lessons, and a course you could gulp in an afternoon would leave nothing behind. You go at your own pace. There’s no group, no live call, nothing to keep up with. Just you, the material, and the work.

Why I made this

I first put this course together in 2017. A few months later I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital with depression and anxiety, and for a short time was under what nobody officially calls suicide watch.

(“Must have been a f****** terrible course,” says my inner critic. Yeah, alright.)

A year after I came out, a woman I’d met in a support group – she ran HR at a major law firm – asked if I would give a talk at her firm. We called it From High Flyer To Rock Bottom, because we thought it would get bums on seats.

The room held 250 people. They filled it from the back, mostly women. At the last minute a lot of men rushed in and, having arrived late, were obliged to sit at the front, which I suspect was not their plan. I showed drawings I’d made in hospital of my state of mind. Someone described themselves afterwards as “the one at the back, sobbing and snotting.”

I gave versions of that talk at many other firms over the next few years. It’s now become a book, A Speccy Man Has A Breakdown, which is what I’d rather people read if they want the whole story.

Alongside the talks and the book, I’ve spent hundreds of hours working one-to-one with clients as a trained coach – I qualified with CTI. The Inner Critic course grew out of that training. I first taught a version of it at The School of Life in London, where I ran classes for seven years; the session sold out.

And I created this online course. It was pretty good. But the 2017 version was made by someone who was about to break down. This new version is made by someone who broke down, learned a lot in hospital and came back with more that can help. It’s not the view from on high. It’s what I’ve actually learned, from what I’ve actually lived.

What’s in it

Nine lessons, one a day, each about fifteen minutes.

Drawing the inner critic (lesson two).

1. What the inner critic is, and why noticing it matters
2. Giving it a shape – drawing it, naming it, making it a thing outside you rather than a fact about you
3. The particular style your inner critic favours (they’re not all the same)
4. Freeing ideas – what the inner critic does to creative thought, and how to work around it
5. Fact and opinion – how to tell what your inner critic is saying apart from what’s actually true
6. Becoming a connoisseur – spotting the unhelpful thought quickly, so you spend less time inside it
7. Failure – what to do with it, and what not to do with it
8. Other people – how the inner critic shapes how you see them, and what that costs you
9. A better inner voice – not falsely positive, just fairer

What people have said

These are from people I’ve coached one-to-one.

I’m more confident to express myself. I’m more curious. I’m less fragile about trying things. I’m better at asking for feedback. I feel more connected. – Martin, social entrepreneur

John-Paul spoke my language. He helped me get out of my own way. He made me even more confident – no mean feat! – Michael, actor

I thought, maybe we can make a bit of headway – and you, like, ballooned it. Wow, what have we got? You have some kind of magic there. – Liz, entrepreneur

Price

£85.

If it works for you, it’ll have been cheap. If it doesn’t, you get your money back – just tell me within 14 days and I’ll refund you. You don’t have to explain, and you don’t have to return anything.

Who this isn’t for

If you’re in acute crisis right now, this isn’t the right thing. You need a person, not a course. In the UK, Samaritans are there any time on 116 123.

If you’re looking for something that will fix you without any work on your part, this isn’t that either. Fifteen minutes a day is not much, but it isn’t nothing, and the course only works if you do it.

Otherwise, welcome.

If you’d like the fuller story before deciding, the book is here.

Start the course: