Got your attention?

Hey – I'm John-Paul Flintoff.

I work with people who are powerful and high status and find that they aren't liked very much.

And wonder if the two things might be related.

But don't know how to GET THINGS DONE without being “firm”.

Perhaps a bit unpleasant.

People like YOU, perhaps.

(Or maybe you're just looking “for a friend”. Or just lurking. Having a look round… That's fine. I do that too.)

Have you ever seen the film Elizabeth? In it, Cate Blanchett changes dramatically from charming princess to tough queen.

There's a scene at the end where she paints her face, puts her hair up and starts looking positively inhuman.

She walks into a crowded room, and everybody falls to their knees.

Well, most people don't change their status quite so quickly.

It happens gradually.

We don't notice the change.

And behaviours that helped us out earlier in our career start to become a bit unhelpful.

Like, self-confidence.

When we start out, it's a bonus.

But when you achieve a position of authority, it can be a bit overwhelming to the people around us.

Changing that is quite simple.

But you need help to see what you are doing. You need somebody who can tell you honestly – won't be worried about how it might affect their career etc.

Usually, that means asking a trusted outsider.